Pinked
by cherrycordial
Summary: Nessie thinks her daddy is in need of a makeover, so she calls in reinforcements to help her with her little plan… "We're only doing this out of love for you, Daddy. How about some lip gloss…?" –– Post-BD. Fluffy father-daughter cuteness.


_A/N: I never would have thought I'd ever pity Edward Cullen...until I wrote this. xD I sorta felt bad for him while writing this - I mean, if I were him, I would have escaped the second I realized what they were trying to do. xD Buuut since he loves his little girl, his subconscious forces him to keep from doing that. :3 But w__arning: not for Edward fans who don't appreciate when he is forced into sitting through being smothered in makeup, especially by his own daughter and sisters. xD_

_I hope you laugh just as much as I did. I really loved writing this, and surprisingly I like writing in Edward's POV...I might do it again soon... c;_

_Enjoy! Favorite or review if you like it. :D_

_- Cherry_

* * *

_**Pinked**_

—

Alice was blocking me out again. She'd gotten Rosalie and Nessie to do it too, so now when I managed to hear snippets of their thoughts, all I was rewarded with was irritating pop songs and a long list of reasons why Jacob was Nessie's B.W.F. (Best Wolf Friend)––over and over again until I was sure I'd go mad just from the too-girly voices whining inside their heads. I grit my teeth against a new Avril Lavigne song Alice started thinking of as tiny feet pattered across the floor upstairs, my daughter's mental voice singing the theme song for Dora the Explorer too loudly for my extra sense.

"Jesus, Edward," Emmett said in a wary tone, tearing his eyes from his beloved zombie game on the television to give me a concerned look. "You look like you're gonna explode. Whoa, dude!" he cried, his thumbs still flying across the little buttons on the controller in his hands, eyes wide. "Don't rip the couch or else you'll have hell to pay if Esme sees…" He turned back to his video game, wary.

I sighed, momentarily grateful our mother wasn't involved in whatever little stunt the other girls––minus Bella––were cleverly planning as they snickered and flitted around upstairs. Jacob was feeling a little lost without his imprint two feet from him––but it couldn't have been bothering him that much, considering he kept shouting encouragement at Emmett and cheering when a zombie got shot in the head by some futuristic electric gun. I realized I was digging my nails into the side of the couch, and quickly pulled my hand away, knowing Emmett had a point if I destroyed anything that Esme was particularly fond of. Bella reached out her hand to stroke my hair in a soothing way, her cool fingers brushing against my forehead. I smiled at her softly, thankful for the brief distraction.

Things went quiet upstairs for a while, which had me worried, and when I glanced at Bella I could see by the nervous look on her beautiful face that she was anxious too. I hoped Alice and Rose weren't going to try and force her into a dress––that was the last thing Bella wanted to do. Though if our daughter were to ask, I was sure Bella would give in for a few minutes; anything to please Ness.

And she came skipping cheerfully down the wide staircase a moment later, humming a song that sounded horribly like that dreaded Dora music, purposefully obscuring my talent. But her smile temporarily blinded me with its beauty; her perfect shiny square teeth and two dimples flashed as she came hopping over, chocolate brown eyes glowing with an excitement I didn't know the reason for. Her smile became tight, placed permanently on her face as she stared up at me with expectance.

"Yes?" I inquired, reaching out my hand to gently tuck a soft curl behind the shell of her ear.

Nessie gave me this funny look––her eyebrows drew together over her eyes, which suddenly grew mischievous, and her smile stretched into a deliberately crooked grin that mirrored my own.

_Auntie Alice would like to speak with you,_ she informed me silently in this shrewd, business-like tone, then before I could answer or ask why she'd grabbed my hand and was tugging me from the couch. I let her lead me towards the stairs, her warm, tiny fingers clutching at my larger hand, and I looked behind my shoulder to see Bella giving me a wide-eyed look as her farewell message. I gave her a shrug, as if to say _What can I do?_ Because, really, when it came to Alice Cullen, no one was safe.

My secretive little daughter dragged me up to the second floor, where she made me stop at the top of the stairs and pressed one finger to her lips, signaling silence. I nodded, pressing my own lips together to keep from asking questions. With an adorable little wave and a twirl on her heel, my Nessie skipped off to the end of the hall and disappeared into Alice and Jasper's room, shutting the door behind her. As soon as she was out of sight I allowed myself a deeply confused expression. As I stood there, I suddenly felt strangely uneasy––in my own house too, and not under Jasper's control. I could feel a pair of eyes on me, even though I knew that while Nessie and my sisters had excellent vision, they couldn't see through wood. Their thoughts were quiet; I couldn't tell where they were.

Movement, so silent a mere human wouldn't have been able to detect it, shifted behind me and I whirled to see who it was––and Alice's cheery voice cried out, "Peek-a-boo!" and I was blinded by a dark fabric thrown across my eyes. I found myself a little startled, to be honest. And nervous.

"Aunt Rose, get his hands!" Nessie's real voice called, and my reflexes suddenly went numb; I couldn't think of any way to defend myself against three girls who were bound to thrust me into the pink high-backed chair in Alice's bathroom and smother me in makeup. Hopeful flickers of that exact image flittered through Nessie's mind––oh, of course. This was the cause for all the hush-hush work being done all afternoon. I didn't attempt to struggle; I knew how this would end anyway, and allowed myself to be tied up and shoved down the hall with Ness's giggles leading me to my doom.

—

"Can I take the blindfold off now?" I grumbled, disliking the feeling of my hands being tied behind the back of the chair. Which was pointless; I could just rip out of them any time I wanted to. I could see myself through each of their eyes––sitting in that velvet chair in front of Alice's bathroom mirror. Along the counter were several cosmetics products and a curling iron. I felt my eyes widen.

"Nope," Nessie laughed, and I saw the lower half of my own face crumple in dissatisfaction.

Rosalie snorted with laughter and Alice drew in her lower lip with her teeth to hide her grin.

I had to tune them out once they started mentally singing a country song in synchronization.

It was a while as they completed the finishes touches around the bathroom, all snickering at when they looked at me. Finally Alice tore the blindfold from my eyes, and I looked around wildly at the makeup, nail polish, and hair products set out across the pearly counter. I groaned in horror.

"We're only doing this out of love for you, Daddy," giggled Nessie as she approached, a little tube of sparkly pink stuff in her fingers, an impish smirk on her lips. "How about some lip gloss…?"

"No!" I turned my head as she crawled into my lap, brandishing the horrible stuff. "No, no, no, don't you dare! I don't want lip gloss, no!" Part of me was amused that they thought they could really get away with this, but another part of me was impressed that they'd managed to get this far. But the main part of me was grimacing in distaste at the thought of Emmett and Jacob's comments.

"Aw, c'mon, Edward," Rosalie drawled, tapping the curling iron ominously. "Let her do it."

I rolled my eyes, but continued to flinch away from the dreaded stuff Nessie was attempting to coat my lips in. She was giggling, trying to catch my face with her other hand. She was having a very fun time already––she thought it was hilarious seeing her daddy resisting _her_ strength instead.

Alice's hand roughly grabbed my hair and forced me to look at Nessie. I glared up at her, but she simply smiled sweetly at me and gave Nessie her nod of consent. Sighing, I stopped struggling. I was forced to listen to my sisters' smug thoughts and amused chuckles as Nessie spread the cherry-tasting gloss over my lips, one hand on my cheek; I took that as a sign I'd be in trouble if I protested.

"There." Nessie popped the cap back on the tube and smiled happily at me, proud of herself.

"Here." Alice handed over what looked horribly like eye shadow and mascara. "Try these."

"Oooh!" Nessie's big brown eyes grew wider as she boggled at the danger in her little hands. I begged her with my eyes not to use them, but she ignored me and settled herself into my lap. Rose was heating the curling iron, to my horror. Nessie was still smirking and Alice was grinning smugly.

The next thirty minutes made me question my masculinity, even if I hadn't wanted this in the first place. Nessie was quite skilled with applying makeup, to my surprise; though I guessed maybe Alice had taught her how to use them correctly earlier. They all chattered happily together as they worked over me, all wondering what to dress me up in––I couldn't suppress a moan of dismay at that one, but of course they ignored me––and debating over how many layers of blush to give me. Their thoughts were all abuzz with amusement, and it was difficult blocking them out so I wouldn't have to see how utterly ridiculous I looked. When Rosalie started dividing pieces of my hair to curl, I devised a compromise in my head for the next time they wanted to treat me like vampire Barbie.

Nessie snorted as the first few curls––ringlets, just like hers––slid across my forehead, then her face scrunched up and her eyes filled with tears. The next moment she was sprawled on the tiled floor, clutching her midsection as she howled with laughter, wet trails sliding down her pink cheeks. She garbled unintelligibly, trying to gasp out words but unable to form them coherently. I scowled; I wasn't annoyed with her, though, only annoyed of what my hair was becoming. _Curls!_ Good Lord.

"Oh, Edward," cooed Rosalie, twirling one around her finger, "you look like Shirley Temple."

I growled aloud and my daughter laughed louder at the comment. Alice giggled, bending in front of me to apply another coat of the stupid gloss to my lips. I forced the too-vivid image of my own face out of my mind's eye, not wanting to see myself at all. I caught a glimpse; I looked pinked.

"Now for the nail polish!" Alice chimed a moment later, and Nessie leapt up as I let out a low groan of displeasure. Hadn't they tortured me enough? Apparently not. I had to look just _flawless_…

Nessie sat in my lap again. I looked down at her and reminded her, "But my hands are tied. Quite literally, darling. How are you going to paint my nails if I'm all tied up?" I meant it ironically.

She narrowed her eyes at me sharply; she looked frighteningly like Esme whenever Emmett accidently destroyed something. _Daddy, we can either do this the easy way or the hard way,_ she thought.

I, too, narrowed my eyes. "I choose neither," I told her in a hard voice, trying to get out of it.

"But Edward," Alice complained, "bright pink or purple would look great with your eyes." She thought I was disagreeing to the color of the nail polishes. I turned my glare on her for a second, and she stuck her tiny tongue out at me like a pouty five-year-old. She was going to get it later on.

Rosalie gave a short sigh and bent to release my hands; they'd used _chains_ to tie my wrists! I forgot my stare-down with Nessie for a moment to look in disbelief as Rosalie flitted from the room to hide the chains. I suspected they'd come from her and Emmett's room––Emmett liked odd things.

Nessie snatched one of my hands, and for once I didn't have it in me to protest. I just let her continue to do this to me, as I had for the past forty-seven and a half minutes. I made a face, though, to show my disapproval as she dipped the small brush into the sickeningly bright bottle, humming.

_Edward, you truly look adorable,_ Rosalie was gushing as she fluffed up my freshly curled hair. It surprised me more than it should have that she was complimenting someone for once. It might've been slightly mocking, and it made me feel even more self-conscious––but it was still a compliment.

I huffed once; that was my way of grudgingly saying thank-you. For praising, not the words.

I glanced down at my right hand. Nessie was nearly done with my nails, which were pink.

As I looked at her, noticed the tiny smile on her lips and the happy thoughts in her mind, I couldn't help but feel a little pleased she was enjoying herself so much. Whatever made her happy. Her cheeks were still slightly wet from her amused tears; her eyes were bright with fervent delight.

"Aw, Edward!" Alice sang in the most joyful of voices. "Look at you, you're really smiling!"

Nessie looked up and Rosalie laughed, but I wiped the stupid grin off my face before either of them could see. I looked away, forcing a scowl, but my previous frustration had melted slightly.

I pretended to be annoyed still when Nessie began to paint the nails on my other hand. Alice kept looking at me funny, though, like she knew I wasn't as fed up as before. I ignored her. Nessie found it funny whenever I sighed or looked like I was about to protest, so I did it only to please her. When she was finished, she gave me this severe look and instructed, _Do not move your hands, Daddy._

I exaggerated a sigh and nodded. Alice and Rosalie started laughing hysterically when they saw my silly nails, and Nessie beamed, proud of herself for having control over her father for once.

A minute passed before I asked loudly in a whiny, sulky voice, "Can I move my hands _now_?"

"_No_," Nessie's voice growled, deep in the closet as she searched for shoes. I stifled a laugh at the stern-mother sort of tone, and Alice looked at me inquisitively as Rosalie continued to fluff the curls on top of my head. I could feel them––they were like an irritating weight I had to hold. I was still bothered by that––they could have done everything else to me, everything except curl my hair.

"Auntie Alice," Nessie said, coming out of the closet with a pair of Jasper's shoes in her tiny hands, "do you think Uncle Jasper will mind if I put some glitter on his shoes? I can wash them off."

"He won't mind. I already asked him since there was a chance we might need to. Go ahead."

Nessie smiled appreciatively, smirked at me, then ran from the room to glitter Jasper's shoes.

I opened my mouth to really object this time––I wasn't so sure how Jasper would honestly feel about his shoes being covered in glitter. Alice patted my shoulder and sighed, "Really, it's fine."

I didn't answer her, but she knew, without needing my telepathy, what I was thinking. I felt a little wary when Nessie skipped back in a few minutes later, a dusting of shiny silver glitter on top of and on the sides of Jasper's shoes. Then I felt horror when I realized I was supposed to wear them.

"Oh, come on," I protested. "You can make me look like Barbie, but you can't expect me to––"

"Now, now, Daddy," Nessie said, still in that disapproving mother tone. She was removing my other shoes. She gave me a stern look. "It's the easy way or hard way. Don't make this difficult."

She sounded and looked just like Esme again, when she used that tone. I closed my mouth.

I looked down at the once-white shoes on my feet, dreading whatever could be coming next.

"Here, Edward, put this on." Alice tossed me a soft piece of pale pink fabric. Glancing at my drying nails, I hesitantly picked it up. I realized it was one of my shirts––dyed pink. My mouth fell open a little bit in confusion, wondering how they did this––moreover, how Nessie had snuck this out of the closet in the cottage without my knowing. Slowly, I realized Nessie couldn't have done it.

I gave a long sigh, staring at my daughter, who smiled back at me innocently with a gleam of her mother's sneakiness in her eyes. Of course. Bella was a better actress than I gave her credit for.

Rosalie smirked, then looked at Alice. "He knows," she said simply, amusement in her voice.

"Of course he knows," Alice replied, rolling her eyes as Nessie snickered, grinning at me still.

I huffed. "Are we done here?" I asked impatiently. "I need to speak to my wife about this…"

—

While I wasn't anticipating my brothers' and Jacob's reactions, I still wanted to get out of my sister's vast bathroom as quickly as possible. Once Nessie had assured every detail was perfect, she unexpectedly whirled my chair around so I see myself in the mirror. I actually screamed; Rose was right. I _did_ look like that Shirley Temple––only male, physically seventeen, and a vampire. My hair was ridiculously curly, my lips coated in two layers of shiny pink lip gloss, with eye shadow of the same shade, and my eyelashes were black and curled up slightly. I looked…feminine. Too feminine.

"Well, come on," urged Alice, shoving me out of the chair. "Go show everyone your beauty."

Nessie laughed, taking my hand and squeezing it. I squeezed back, suddenly not caring how overtly girly I looked or that my nails were pink or how much I'd been subjected to. The only thing that mattered to me, and would always matter to me, was my daughter's happiness––every emotion she felt, every word she spoke, every moment when we were together, I would cherish. Nothing in the world would ever take that away from me, even if she grew up and went away with Jacob. I was still her father. I was still going to be there for her, even if––no, when––that happened. I'd always be.

Alice flew down the stairs before we did, announcing in a singsong voice, "Here he comes!"

"Oh, no," I heard Bella whisper, very faintly, and I wondered if it was because she knew that I'd figured out she had been in on this the entire time or if she was worried what I looked like now.

Gripping Nessie's hand, with Rosalie already laughing beside me, I went downstairs. As I'd expected, Emmett took one long wide-eyed look at me before collapsing to the floor, hooting with laughter; Jacob followed suit seconds later. Esme covered her mouth with her hands, surprised, and Bella hid her face behind her long hair to obscure her huge smile. Jasper leaned around the corner, and he made this funny sound in his throat, like it was almost a laugh but he stifled it. I was about to casually ask where Carlisle was when he came down the stairs behind me. He, too, stared at me for a second before his lips twitched into a smile and he had to sit down on the bottom step, laughing; it was rare to see him laugh at someone, let alone his own son, but I understood. I _did_ look ridiculous.

Nessie was smiling the biggest of all, leaning into my leg, giggling uncontrollably. Her eyes were a little apologetic when she raised them to look at me. _Sorry Daddy,_ she apologized. _I hope you aren't mad. . . But don't be mad at Aunt Rose and Auntie Alice, they were just helping me. It was all my idea._

"Don't forget Momma," I murmured, smirking, and Bella covered her face with her hands; I laughed. Jacob and Emmett were still literally rolling on the floor laughing––Jacob had tears of mirth rolling down his face, his fists slamming into the carpet. Nessie seemed pleased he was enjoying it.

"Now, Bella," I said slowly, eyes narrowed, "I must thank you for your help with the shirt…"

She squeaked adorably and looked away from me. I suppressed a laugh, then looked down at my daughter. "Of course I'm not mad," I whispered to her, squeezing her hand. "At any of you."

Her eyes widened. _But you seemed so upset earlier––when I was trying to put lip gloss on you._ She replayed the memory in her head. I watched myself as I flinched and turned my head away wildly.

"That was before I realized how much fun you were having. You were enjoying yourself––once I realized that, I didn't really care anymore. Pink nail polish would look best on you, though."

She giggled and hugged my leg tightly. I rumpled her hair, glancing up to see Esme looking at us with a tender expression on her face. She smiled. _You look good,_ she joked. _I like the look on you._

I rolled my eyes, but chuckled. Bella peeked at me out from under her hair, the way Nessie often did if she thought she was in trouble. She met my eyes, and once she realized I wasn't about to bite her head off for secretly being a part of this little plan, she let her hair fall away and she smiled. For a moment, though, I thought her skin was roses and cream again if she were still able to blush.

"Says a lot about you, kid," Emmett told me, slapping Jacob on the back to help him breathe.

I glared at him as Nessie laughed at the remark, unable to understand what it really meant.

Nessie flitted over to Bella, who opened her arms for her automatically. Nessie sat down in Bella's lap, tugging thoughtfully on a piece of her mahogany hair. Then she smiled sweetly up at her mother and said gladly, "You know, Momma, if you wanted me to, I could curl your hair for you…"

Bella's eyes widened. Alice and Rosalie smiled. I slapped my hand to my forehead, laughing.

_**Fin**_

* * *

_Welp. This was fun. Very fun. xD_

_I really hope you enjoyed! This was a ton of fun to write, I've been at it all day and I'm super proud of myself for completing it. :)_

_Favorite or leave a review? I'd love to hear what you think! Thanks so much for reading. :)_

_- Cherry_


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